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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in firekitten15's LiveJournal:

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Sunday, October 7th, 2007
8:28 pm
Meeting Claire Danes
Note:  Claire was excellent in the play with her trademark emotional bursts.  It's amazing how easily she can cry on cue.  She truly is talented.

I met Claire Danes today and she didn't disappoint me.  She is so very beautiful (her beauty glows and shines with her golden hair) and generous and kind and nice.  She approached me first and signed my Pygmalion flyer with her own black pen.  She was prepared.  Her face was bright, like she was genuinely happy to see her fans.  She made sure she signed for everyone who was waiting for her before getting into her black car and leaving.  I told her I love Shopgirl and she said thank you.  I told her I love Stardust and that I saw it thirteen times (even though I think I saw it more than that) and she was surprised in a good way and said thank you.  I told her she was so lucky because she got to ride a unicorn (I told her I wish I could ride a unicorn).  She said she knows and she said, "You know, it wasn't really a unicorn," and I said I know, but it was the idea of it.  Then I said, "Thank you" and "Bye," and she said, "Thank you for coming."  I said, "You're welcome."  She was wearing black pants with a black and white striped sweater top with black flats - she looked very classy as always.  She was radiant and very petite.  Her face in real life was just as expressive as it is on screen.  Meeting Claire was exuberant, thrilling, and a pure joy.  Claire Danes truly is a star.


Current Mood: cheerful
Monday, August 6th, 2007
6:26 pm
falling five by five

blood pouring down limber legs
disappearing down the watery drain
each punch a little bit tougher
than the last yet softer at the core
each bruise quickly fading into nothing
chosen to fight the darkness
escaping from it is the hard part
has her skin gotten softer on the outside
or is it her heart on the inside?
finally free from the tarpits
because the people around her really cared,
especially her angel
she just tried her damnest to push them away
what she wants she takes
to have cold and unfeeling in her hands
or warm and tender in her once poisoned soul
to find faith in others and herself

Tara Ann Stridh
December 2006

Wolf Girl

when the change takes over me
I am free
it sounds cliche
but I am free to run and hunt
rabbits and chipmunks
even squirrels
though they're the tricky rascals
but I prefer the rabbits
they make my blood pump
because they run the fastest
when I am free
I feel the fresh moss between my toes
the forest trees fill my nostrils
and I run faster
you don't know how fast I can run
I can catch you
and sniff your boy scent
I'll lick your face and 
nibble at your fingers
I am wolf girl
I'll let you pet my fur
I promise I won't bite
and when I change back
into my body I hope you'll
make love to me and pull
the leaves from my tangled auburn hair
I'll be revealing my body and soul to you
and you'll be confessing your heart to me
I won't tell your secret
if you won't tell mine

Tara Ann Stridh
February 2007

stage beauty

you are the woman
I am the man
when you smile, I smile
when you laugh, I laugh
when you dance wild around your room
I want to dance with you
I want to kiss your neck, your lips, your eyes
"no matter what you do
I only want to be with you"
I want to be the mirror 
you practice kissing in
I'll walk your dog with you in the city
and watch you dance at P.S. 122
we are women, but for you I am the man
to please and pleasure you
beyond black satin expectations
to give you gentle caresses and sweet kisses
to linger lovingly between your thighs
I'll go over your lines with you
until you know them perfectly
even though you're the very body of perfection
with your little breasts
I can hold in my hands
what do I have to do to make you want me?
I notice everything you do
but you'll never know my love
you don't know what you're missing

Tara Ann Stridh
February 2007

Rae's Blues

I got this itch
that this chain's holding back
mama's boyfriend forcing
himself upon my little body
I was just a kid
and she was looking the other way
now I got my own boyfriend
but this itch won't go away
this chain's my only sanctuary
never take it off
don't let me run free
I won't find my head in the morning
my face all beaten on
never take it off
I'd rather stay with you
and eat corn on the cob
listening to your "Black Snake Moan"
offering me a peace of mind
this little light of mine

Tara Ann Stridh
March 2007
*characters don't belong to me
Sunday, August 5th, 2007
7:03 pm

kissing Jennifer in Union Square

sometimes I think of her
knowing she never thinks of me
when she smiles I smile
when she cries I cry
she's like a movie star - intangible
yet I kissed her in Union Square
her nails manicured in seafoam green
her toes perfect like a dancer
blue jeans and a tee shirt
I danced with her the night before
and the next day she said "hello" first
walking her little black dog
we ate spicy rice and pineapple
and she asked me to kiss her
the moment my lips touched hers
all my dreams came true
I didn't know then
that I would have her forever

Tara Ann Stridh
June 2007

Sunday, May 6th, 2007
8:33 am
The Cake Eaters_meeting Aaron
I met Aaron Stanford for the second time at the first screening of The Cake Eaters at the Tribeca Film Festival.  He didn't appear to be tired like last time.  He had more energy and he paid attention to what I had to say.  I told him, "You're the best actor of your generation," and he was shocked.  He said, "Wow, I'll take that."  He introduced me to the director of Tadpole and Gary Winick asked me if I saw all of Aaron's films.  I told him, "I try," but I missed Flakes because I coouldn't make it to Texas.  There was much regret in my voice.  Aaron said it was okay.  Mr. Winick also asked me what I thought of Aaron in Tadpole and I said, "cute."  Really, it was the first thing that popped into my mind.  He's so young there and now . . . he's just all grown up.  I forgot to mention that the movie always cheers me up.  Winick said Flakes is coming to a film festival in Nantucket.  He also took the picture of me and Aaron.

I asked Aaron about the breakdown scene in the kitchen in Runaway.  I asked him, "How did you know what it feels like because that's exactly what it feels like?"  He said he didn't know, it just came to him, and he just went for it.  He also joked - spoiler - that he hoped I didn't take a shotgun to my parents.  I told him, "Of course not."  I didn't mention it was my grandfather and not my parents.

When asked about his character Beagle (from The Cake Eaters) being a boy trapped inside a man's body, Aaron said he felt his character was an outsider and that the love story was nice because it was two people who found each other they belong with.  He also joked that the guy asking the question just wrote an essay.  It was a pretty complex question.  Aaron spent his time on stage with his head lowered and his hands in his pockets or folded across his chest.

I shook his hand; he has a gentle handshake, and he asked me my name.  I told him, "Tara," and he said it was nice meeting me and, "Thank you."  Aaron is very cute, both in an endearing and attractive way.  He was wearing a cozy black sweater that was very soft.

My second meeting with Aaron was at the second screening.  He didn't come to the third or fourth screening.  It was the same way two years ago with Runaway.  I said, "Hi, I met you yesterday."  He said, "I remember."  I told him I forgot to ask him if he could sign this piece of paper I had with me.  He asked me my name and personalized it, "To Tara, Thanks for being a fan.  Aaron Stanford. - Pyro-."  I asked him to write Pyro underneath it.  I told him I really wanted to see him kick Iceman's ass.  He said, "I'm sorry that didn't happen for you."  I also asked him when Standing Still was coming to US DVD because "I really like that movie."  He said, "never" and that they don't tell him those things.  I also took another picture with him.  He was very generous with his time.  In the end he said, "Thanks for coming, Tara."

Meeting Aaron was one of the best moments in my life aside from meeting Julie Benz, Vincent Kartheiser, and Christopher Walken.  I also got to meet Eliza Dushku at the Nobel Son screening - all hail Faith the Vampire Slayer.

I did get to talk to the lovely Mary Stuart Masterson who is like an eighties icon to me ever since her portrayl of Watts in Some Kind of Wonderful with Eric Stoltz and Leah Thompson.  She said Eric Stoltz was a nice guy, serious, and fun.  She defined art as "organized chaos."  She also said, " auditioning is never fun - that's life."  I asked her how she cast the part of Beagle and she said she knew Aaron's work and she also knew Gary Winick.  She met with Aaron, talked; he read the script and completely understood it.  She called him a "good actor."  She compares him to Charlie Chaplin, that he's subtle like Chaplin and physical like him.

A few weeks ago I met Laura Ortiz who plays Ruby in The Hills Have Eyes and she described Aaron as "very down to earth," and that he enjoys house parties rather than Hollywood parties.  That's what I love about Aaron.  He's super talented, but he's so casual and such a great, nice guy.

Monday, April 30th, 2007
6:55 am
City Hall's paintings
Eliza did her own painting for the sordid, beautiful artwork in Nobel Son.

Saturday, April 28th, 2007
4:39 pm
Meeting Faith
Today I met Eliza Dushku at the Tribeca Film Festival.  She was very nice and polite.  I told her, "Faith is the best Slayer" and that I enjoyed her in the film Nobel Son.  She said, "Thank you" in a very gracious way.  I asked her if I could get her autograph and a picture and she obliged me.  Eliza didn't forget about me when talking to someone else.  She made sure I got the photo with her.  She was very beautiful with her brunette hair loose and a pretty royal blue, short dress.  She was also wearing a little black, short-sleeved cover over her dress.  She seemed small to me - she seems so much bigger on TV.  One wouldn't think this girl could kick one's ass, alas, a difference between her and Faith.  I asked her to sign "Faith" under her name and she did.  I'll never forget how gorgeous she looked and her skin was very warm and soft.  That voice . . . big sigh.

Sunday, April 15th, 2007
8:30 am
poem_Alice 2
Alice 2

each day I thought about her
and was happy that she was living her life
her letters helped me get through the rough days
but there weren't too many of those
because I had found my peace of mind
and heart and soul
now I'm finally free
and I'm not ragged and dirty
I'm reborn into a stronger person
and a friend more true than I'll ever be
we still talk
but I don't see her very often
she's a college girl
I'm just a girl who's been
through hell and back
along the way I found my own
piece of heaven and a shoulder to
cry on every now and then
though I didn't shed too many tears
I actually smiled more on the inside
than I do on the outside now
I knew things would change
that we wouldn't be forever together
I guess in my heart we always will
at least that's how I'll always
remember us

Tara Ann Stridh
February 2007
8:24 am

behind this wall and this country
is my actual freedom
but through self-sacrifice and love
I have found true freedom
on the inside I have found a
sanctuary and salvation like no other
I weep when the sky weeps
and when the sun rejoices
I raise my arms and am delivered
I am a prisoner only if I let myself be
maybe I'll never live the life
I took for granted
but I'll keep fighting
through the sadness and the madness
I have found a new way of life
where I see and hear new things
through a newly opened mind
I am no longer in hiding
I am free

Tara Ann Stridh
February 2007
8:04 am
Mutants and Mayhem
Yesterday I met the talented, gorgeous, and adorable Laura Ortiz who plays Ruby in The Hills Have Eyes (2006).  She was very sweet and said little baby Maisie was the best.  She never cried.  She also said she keeps in touch with Aaron, but hasn't seen him in six months.  When asked about Aaron she said he is "the nicest guy" and "very down to earth."  He prefers house parties to Hollywood parties, which is always the impression I got from him.  About Dan Byrd she said, "He's nice to chill with."  And Laura said Vinessa Shaw and Emilie De Ravin were really nice, especially Vinessa.

Michael Bailey Smith (Pluto) said that baby Maisie loved him in his make-up.  She can't tell the difference between what's normal and not because she's just a baby.  He also played Super Freddy in Nightmare 5.

And when I met Robert Joy (Lizard) last year he said he still hasn't let his daughter Ruby see the movie.  The scenes where he was chasing after Ruby (in the movie) were difficult for him because the character shares his daughter's name.  He also apologized for freaking me out, but hey, he was only doing his job:)  And a damn good job he did.  He was very nice and I respect him as an actor and a person.

8:02 am
Characters not mine:(


by Tara Ann Stridh

"Can I buy you another margarita or have you had enough?  You've already had three.  This is only our second date," Doug said.
They were sitting at a bar and Lynn was really enjoying herself.  She placed her hand over Doug's.
"I was hoping you'd take advantage of me," she said, with a playful smile.

Thursday, December 28th, 2006
6:53 pm
Ruby's Lullaby

I sing you a lullaby of safe-keeping
while I wear your red-hooded sweatshirt
it smells like you, like salt and twinkies
I'm so hungry I wish I had a twinkie
the blood on your cheek is dry
and I guard you against my own blood
I won't let them get you
you who fell out of the sky
and fell to the ground like a fallen angel
you sleep beautifully for a long time
my own face twisted and disfigured
I know you're my salvation
from a life I despise
yet can't control
I can only pray and hope
we survive from the torment to follow
when you open your brown eyes
I slip into my never-ending hiding

Tara Ann Stridh
December 2006
Monday, December 11th, 2006
1:30 pm

the night you died
I couldn't cry enough
somehow I wasn't there
even though I was right outside
putting out the fire
I'd never seen so much blood
and the bullet in your head
I believed you had a chance
I didn't want to let you go
when I look at my wedding ring
I think of you and our baby
I saved her from the monsters
I wish I could have saved you

Tara Ann Stridh
November 2006
Monday, July 10th, 2006
12:40 pm
characters don't belong to me:(

Saturday, July 8th, 2006
12:36 pm
the heart’s defense

I promised your mother
on the day we took our vows
to protect and love her
now she’s gone and I still love her
I’ve failed her in some way
and you’re the only hope
the only living proof of our love and her memory
I promised your mother
on the day you were born
to protect and love you infinitely
your tiny warmth makes everything worthwhile
I cannot abandon you when you need me most
I will save you from the monsters
I will feel your little fingers tickle my neck
I hear you cry and I cry my own tears of despair and determined fury
I am coming
you will be safe in my arms
you are my only comfort in this nightmare
when I hold you I wish you nothing but sweet dreams
when I hold you I can finally close my eyes
and share your innocent slumber
when I hold you I smile because I love you
you helped me to survive
and when you grow up without fear
your mother will find peace
my heart will mourn her and celebrate your life

Tara Ann Stridh
March 2006
Tuesday, June 13th, 2006
6:35 pm
Carnie Day
I recently had the chance to meet three actors from the show Carnivale. First I met Diane Salinger who gave me the best advice I've ever heard. Tell yourself "I am a writer" and "I am an actress." She was very pleasant and has been in two Tim Burton movies so she's very cool. Next I met Nick Stahl and told him I reluctant to see a new John Connor, but that he did a great job. I also told him he was very good looking and he said, "Thanks." Then he looked back at me as I left:) He was wearing ripped jeans and I saw a piece of his knee - it was a turn on. He's tall and handsome. He also signed one of my pics when I wasn't even on the line - that was nice of him. Plus he said the second season of Carnivale is coming out on DVD - yea! Finally I met "Little Mike" as Michael J. Anderson refers to himself. He was a doll! He revealed he based Samson on his dad and he enjoyed working with Mulder and Scully on my favorite X-files episode "Humbug." He was super friendly and when I forgot to pay him for a photo he said he was going to let me get away with it; I paid him, anyway:) I had a fun carnie weekend and every one of them was great to meet and take pictures with.
Sunday, September 25th, 2005
5:43 pm
when the world gives up

when the blue mist fades
and the iron gates close
we will become children of the phoenix
we will no longer tremble
we will no longer beg
we will rise until we drown
within her deceptive destruction
of the world we only wanted
to survive and live in
there will be no sympathy
not even for the cruelest heart
her flames will crush everything
we fought and sacrificed for
there will be no difference between lives
her laughter will blow our
ashes into the darkest world

Tara Ann
Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
12:45 pm
Pretty in Blue

by Tara Ann

feedback:  rainbowrosie400@aol.com

*characters are not mine  **Jill is mine

rated:  G

summary:  Mystique questions love; Jill misses Pyro




            John leaned against the pale raspberry pillow, clicking his shark-mouthed lighter; he watched the flame rise in and out.

            “Tell me, Pyro, how is someone so young such a good lover?” Mystique said.

            She held her cigarette in his flame, then inhaled, exhaling long and slow.

            “Casual practice,” said John.

            Raven rolled over on her side.  “I bet you keep Jill a happy little girl.”

            “You always talk about my girlfriend,” said John, clicking the lighter closed.  “Do you want to fuck her again?  You should learn to hide your jealously.”

            “I don’t want to hide it.”

She rubbed his ankle with her blue skinned foot.

            “I guess jealously isn’t green,” John said.

            Raven smiled and got out of bed, her female body shapely and intriguing.

            John heard the refrigerator open and she returned with two cold beers, the caps already screwed off.

            “Thanks,” he said.

            “What is your little girlfriend up to these days,” Raven said, getting back into bed.

            “She’s started collecting hat pins.  She said renowned ladies of the past would use finely jeweled hat pins and pierce them into their hearts.”

            “Why would they do that?”

            “For love.”  John said it as if the answer was obvious.  Mystique laughed.

            “She’d die for you,” Raven said.  “Would you?”

            “Stick a hat pin in my heart?”  He took a sip of beer.

            “Die for her.”

John didn’t want to admit his heart’s secrets to her, but they were close like he had never expected.

            “You know I would,” he said.

            “Does she know?”

Raven’s words startled him.  He had never thought Jill would not know.  He loved her; he expected her to know.  John had told her and did tell her how much he loved her, usually in the casual phrase of “I love you” with not so casual intentions.

            “Yeah, she knows.”

            “Do you know I love you?” Raven said.

            “I think you’re kind of crazy, Mysty.”

            “Does Jill know you’re with me today?”

            “She probably does,” said John.  “She knows I love her.”




            When John came home Jill was sitting cross-legged on the bed counting the hat pins she had stuck into the orange pillow.  The marmalade kitten Blazie was sitting by her bare knee.

            John hung his brown leather jacket on the dark berry chair and said, “Don’t you get tired of waiting for me?”

            “Sometimes.  Wouldn’t you wait for me?”

            Her long honey-blonde hair hair was damp and she sucked on her lower lip with a raise of her eyebrows.


            “Good.  You can wait for me tomorrow.  I’m seeing Scott.”

            “Scott?  Why?”

            “I like him.  I like his glasses.  I only have six hat pins.”

            She collected them, her slender fingers wrapped around them.

            “Don’t prick yourself,” John said.

            “I won’t.”

            John sat on the bed beside her and touched her knee; Blazie licked his fingers with her tiny tongue.  “Do you like him like you like Kurt?”

            “Very yes.”  She kissed his lips quick and smiled.  “Pray tell, where have your lips betrayed me?”

            “Is that what you’re calling it now?”

            Jill shrugged and leaned her head on his shoulder.  “It sounds pretty.  Fuck her when you want, John, but not when I have nothing do  . . . I miss you.”

            “I love you,” he said.

            “Prove it.  Don’t make me mean it.  Dominic wanted to come over.  I told him I was masturbating.  He still wanted to come over.”

            John laughed.  “Yeah, he would.”

            Jill looked into his hazel-brown eyes and said, “No one kisses the scar on my chin like you John.”

12:42 pm
Sad Hours Seem Long

by Tara Ann

feedback:  rainbowrosie400@aol.com

*characters are not mine  **Jill is mine

rated:  G

summary:  Pyro misses Jill




            Mystique stroked John’s neck and her voice purred.

            “Don’t pout, Pyro,” she said.  “You should be happy I got you guys out.”

            She sat next to him on the rose-colored sofa in her apartment.

            “I’m not afraid of dying in prison,” he said.  “I know you’ll always come.”

            Her finger pet his lips and he didn’t pull away from her, but his thoughts weren’t on her.  Raven sat on his lap and he looked into her glowing yellow eyes.

            His voice was kind and sad.  “Could you?”

            “Who do you want me to be?” said Raven, but he didn’t need to tell her.  Her blue scales gently became jasmine white skin and John was looking at Jill.  Her honey-blonde hair cascaded behind her shoulders and she kissed him and smiled.  His fingers touched her small breasts like it was his first time seeing her naked.  He kissed her like he remembered, his lips softly saying hello to the scar on her chin.

            Her belly was round and his hand tickled its perfect smoothness.  He wanted to feel it, to touch her and the life inside that didn’t belong to him.  John’s dark eyes gleamed and the hazel flickers hid themselves within his palest pout.  He laid his hand upon her womb and pretended he could feel the baby breathing.  He pretended it was their baby and tomorrow when he fell asleep he would wake up and everything would be real.

            Jill took his hands, held his wrists above his head and kissed his lips.  He could feel her warm belly against his stomach.

            “I wish I could give her everything she wants,” John said, looking into Jill’s blue-hazel-eyes.

            “You have,” she said.

            “Does she love him?  Does she love Kurt?”

            “I don’t know,” said Jill.

            “Does he love her?”

            “Not the way you love her.”

            John watched Jill vanish from him and Raven let go of his wrists.

            “She doesn’t hate you,” Mystique said.  “She had a little girl.”

            John smiled faintly.  “I guess you’re a grandmother.”

            “Yeah,” said Mystique, sliding smoothly off his lap and sitting beside him.  “You still can give her everything she wants.  She answered every letter you wrote to her.”

            “I thought you and Erik never wanted me to.”

            “I never told you that.”

            John glanced at her and said, “Haven’t you ever been in love?”

            Raven Darkholme crossed her legs and maintained the strength in her voice.  “I am in love.”

12:39 pm
Safe as Houses

by Tara Ann

feedback:  rainbowrosie400@aol.com

*characters are not mine  **Jill is mine

rated:  G

summary:  Rogue and Pyro talk before Stryker's attack




            John didn’t look up when Rogue sat at the table across from him.  He didn’t say “hello” either.  She watched him write on ripped out pages of loose-leaf.  He wrote quickly and his handwriting changed from neat to barely eligible to neat.  His shark-mouthed lighter was on the table beside him as if it were his only muse.

            “I liked what you did in the museum,” she said.

            He could smell her honey-vanilla perfume; John continued writing.

            “I knew you were excited,” he said.

            “Are you doing homework?”


            “Then what are you doing?”

            “I’m just writing.”

            John Allerdyce put his blue capped pen down and looked at her.  She was beautiful.  Her eyes were brown like velvet petals, her hair was independently brunette with her infamous white streak; it seemed to flirt out to him while hiding her.

            “I know this isn’t polite – what kind of things do you do with Bobby?”

            “John, you know I can’t do anything.”

            “I wish you could.”  He licked his lips and quietly watched her.  Something was different with Marie, but John couldn’t figure her out.

            “I wish I could too,” she said.  “I wish I could kiss you.”

            “You can’t really do that,” John said, his voice soft.

            “I know.”  Her voice was as soft as his.

            “I’m not your boyfriend.”

            “I know,” said Rogue.

            John’s eyes gleamed less dark than usual.

            “Where is he?  Where’s your favorite bobblehead?’

            “Playing basketball with Kitty and Jubilee.”

            “I thought he couldn’t keep his ice cold hands off you,” John said.  “Ignore the pun and cliché.”

            “Yeah, well, maybe he’s learning,” Rogue said.  “Logan’s watching house tonight.”

            John smiled.  “Bring on the party.  I guess we’ll be safe."

Thursday, August 25th, 2005
12:01 pm

feedback:  rainbowrosie400@aol.com


hail Marcy


scraped knees on freeways

broken bones on stairways

quarters carried in bloodstained tee shirts

I love you, I fuck you

set the jelly beans on fire

let’s watch them melt into candy wax

then we’ll flush them down the toilet

like a twisted candy necklace

we’ll make love on the naked mattress

confess our secret wounds

heal our sins and kiss

before we close our eyes

to the dawn, let the sun rise

and touch us like dandelion dust

until the sky turns on its party lights

we’ll make our next home

in the scarred backseat

and count the raindrops on the windshield



Tara Ann

August 2005



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